Writers: Evan Linder and Andrew Hobgood
Director: Fiona Cradock
When the setting is an idyllic white picket-fenced American town, we are well versed in the notion that not everything is going to be what it first appears. Repressed desires and saucy secrets bubble beneath the surface of the delightful comedy 5 Lesbians Eating a Quiche.
It’s that special time of year. It’s 1956, and the annual Quiche Breakfast for the members of the Susan B. Anthony Society for the Sisters of Gertrude Stein are meeting to show their utmost respect to the glorious egg and to celebrate their illustrious founder, who is proudly seen chopping—ahem, wood in a rather striking pose.
As the audience enters, we are all given name tags to invite us to the event formally. This social club for unmarried women and ‘widows’, which, it transpires, is code for lesbians, certainly does not want any meat or men near their quiche. Who would be so ludicrous as to put sausage in a quiche? 5 Lesbians Eating a Quiche, written by Evan Linder and Andrew Hobgood, is a tongue-in-cheek, uninhibited romp.
We begin in the community centre newly renovated by Vern (Emily Wollenberg). A fresh lick of paint in surgical green and Baker-Miller Pink (the shade known for reducing aggression) gives the set a faux pristine atmosphere, as though we are in a waiting room or a holding cell. It’s all a bit too sickly and perfect to be trusted. As well as a paint, Vern has made some technical upgrades to the community centre, turning it into a bunker. It can now protect those inside from radiation, should there be a nuclear attack. The doors and windows are heavy-duty, and there is no way for the group to get out, should (heaven forbid) an atomic attack happen. Not even to save the beloved quiches.
Fiona Cradock’s direction leans into the 1950s aesthetic, with most of the cast affecting a Mid-Atlantic accent. The society’s motto might be “No men, no meat, all manners”, but there is certainly a lot of ham in this acting. Big gestures and knowing looks to the audience are the tone and style of this production. Think charismatic and charming smiles with a twist of sarcasm hiding beneath. Tegan Mordt as Wren is the perfect example of this. She plays the spiteful, priggish housewife who is fizzing with secret lust flawlessly and hilariously.
These characters are brought to life by the perfect costume design by Helen Mason and Debbie Lock. Each member of the society is the perfect housewife with bouncy hair, A-line skirts, and Mary Jane shoes, apart from masc Vern, of course. Alethea Shirilan as Dale is magnificent; she is the heart of this performance and brings innocence and joy to the play. While her character has a significant part in the plot, it’s Shirilan’s side glance when she isn’t centre stage that draws your attention and keeps you transfixed on her.
The head of the Susan B. Anthony Society for the Sisters of Gertrude Stein is fierce and prim Lulie (Nikki Claire Durrant). Her reprimanding of Ginny (Lily Turvey) is hilarious. Poor Ginny can do no right in Lulie’s opinion, and her disdain is brilliantly funny.
This production is held back by the plot of 5 Lesbians Eating Quiche. It seems to hint at an allegory for building a new world without the overbearing dominance of the patriarchy. However, it doesn’t explore this to the point where it becomes the true driving force. The only thing this plot cares about is quiche. There is a blatant sentiment through the 5 Lesbians Eating a Quiche that to be one’s own self and live true to your own life is liberating. The audience is encouraged to proudly join in with the proclamation, “I am a lesbian!”
Runs until 17 October 2026
