Writer: Sydney Page
Director: Caroline Wiechers
Sydney Page is a 26-year-old ambitious Capricorn musical theatre actor who’s ready to quit the spotlight and get a ‘boring’ job like all ‘normal’ people have. Just as she prepares to start over, an unexpected encounter with her younger self forces her to reflect on her ambitions and what drew her to performing in the first place. Full of musical theatre references and heartfelt moments, the show explores failure, nostalgia and what it really means to succeed in a society that discredits creative careers.
Sydney enters the stage with a bang and shares a monologue, slamming the theatre industry, before breaking the fourth wall to tell an audience member to sit down because they’re late. It’s during this meltdown that she tells us all that she’s stepping away from showbiz, choosing money over art.
Straight after, she performs her own version of Roxie from the musical Chicago and ironically changes the lyrics to, “The name on everybody’s lips is gonna be not me.” She believes that the reason she’s not getting the audition is that she’s too pretty, which really emphasises the delusional characteristic that she embraces throughout the whole play.
While meditating, her younger self, played by Sierra Philbert, wearing a Hamilton top and bright pink leggings, appears and persuades her not to give up, reminding her of how hard they’ve both worked to get to where they are. The dynamic between the two is wholesome as they remind each other of the things they’ve overcome to get to where they are; however, this switches up frequently when older Sydney doesn’t agree with younger Sydney.
Towards the end, Sydney drops her flamboyant persona and shares a vulnerable moment with us, telling us that she jokes about her insecurities to escape them. She continues by mentioning that she wishes theatre and life could feel like they used to, a “magical thing full of possibilities.”
She doesn’t get the West End audition for Chicago, but this time, she accepts the defeat by realising her worth and isn’t upset. Their final act together is the first-ever two-woman one-woman show, and they invent the Cold Maple Cloth dance.
Cold Maple Cloth: The Farewell Tour of a Delusional Diva is a humorous show that reminds us not to let titles define our talents. Instead, we should be proud of the progress we’ve made and recognise that success can mean something different to everyone.
Runs until 22 August 2026
Camden Fringe 2026 runs until 30 August
