Director: Alan Harding
Writer: Alan McHugh
Darlington Hippodrome’s Goldilocks and the Three Bears arrives with glitter, glamour, high-kicking chorus lines and enough spectacle to power a small theme park. The story may have migrated – somewhat inexplicably – into the world of a circus, a setting that doesn’t naturally sit with the Three Bears narrative, but honestly, it barely matters. This is panto, after all, and this production knows exactly why its audience is here: for jokes delivered at breakneck speed, lavish production values and showstopping routines.
Visually, it’s a treat. The sets are excellent, the costumes at times outright incredible: puppets, tap-dancing bears, animal suits, and full Las Vegas-style showgirl ensembles parade across the stage with gleeful abandon. The budget is clearly on display, and the dance numbers – particularly those featuring Brendan Cole – are polished, high-energy and often spectacular.
The big surprise is just how thin the actual story is. The classic porridge-chairs-beds sequence is squeezed in almost apologetically, and the Bears themselves remain cute but underused. Still, any narrative gaps are neatly plastered over with comedy and crowd-pleasing chaos. By the first third of Act Two, children are gleefully shrieking at Baron Von Bolshoi, giggling through the set pieces, and soaking in (quite literally) the brilliantly executed 12 Days of Christmas routine performed by just four actors and a couple of super soakers.
Josh Benson, making his third consecutive Darlington panto appearance, is outstanding as Joey the Clown. A natural comic with remarkable acrobatic skill and quick wit, he lifts the energy of the entire company whenever he bounds onstage. He’s generous with fellow performers and with the children he brings up from the audience, never stealing the moment but elevating everyone around him. It’s a star turn that anchors the show beautifully.
Brendan Cole is similarly impressive as the impeccably dressed villain Baron Von Bolshoi, owner of the rival Circus of Nightmares. Yes, his dancing is as smooth as expected, turning the swoon factor up several notches, but it’s his unexpected comic timing and willingness to embrace panto silliness that make his performance such a hit. His chemistry with Benson and with Jamie Jones, who delivers a pitch-perfect Dame Betty Barnum, is a highlight.
Jones, in full Dame tradition, arrives each time in a more outrageous costume than the last. With cracking comic timing, solid vocals and just the right amount of knowing wink, he follows in the footsteps of beloved Dames like Christopher Biggins, without ever tipping into excess – the makeup and wardrobe do plenty of heavy lifting there.
Musically, the show blends original numbers with a couple of pop hits sporting rewritten lyrics, a mix that lands more often than not. The band is excellent, supplying vamps, fills and the occasional cheeky flourish with ease, and their interplay with the onstage action is delightfully nimble. The only notable disappointment is that the ensemble, though a tight and talented dance unit, mime to pre-recorded vocals. It isn’t obvious most of the time, but when the occasional performer forgets to move their lips, the illusion cracks.
Still, under Alan Harding’s pacey direction and Alan McHugh’s sharp, well-judged script, the show barrels along with confidence and charm. There’s never a dull moment, the laughs keep coming, and the sense of fun is irresistible.
This is a high-budget, high-energy circus extravaganza that largely overcomes its wafer-thin story with dazzling spectacle, strong comic performances and plenty of heart. A thoroughly enjoyable festive treat for families – Darlington has a panto hit on its hands.
Runs until 31st December 2025
