Writer: Keelan Kember
Director: Merle Wheldon
What is beauty? If we think a work of art is beautiful, does it matter who actually painted it? If a painting has been restored, are we still looking at work by the original artist? Why are certain works of art so expensive? Is the architecture of the Barbican on a par with the Parthenon? Keelan Kember’s new play Da Vinci’s Laundry poses these and other questions, but without attempting many answers. The themes raised are reminiscent of the socio-cultural debates raised, in similarly entertaining fashion, by Yasmina Reza’s 1994 wildly successful play Art. But while Kember’s satire on the art world touches on issues of personal taste, its humour is mostly aimed at the tasteless super-wealthy.
The play was inspired by the story of a real-life da Vinci sold for a record $450 million – the most expensive painting ever sold – and by the idea that it might have been a fake. Playwright Kember also plays Christopher, an awkward but charming art dealer from a fictional auction house called Beauchamp’s. As the play opens, he is inspecting a newly attributed Da Vinci with his colleague, Milly. Among the world’s top experts on the artist’s work, opinion is divided as to whether the work is genuine or not. Milly is played with elegance, directness and impeccable comic timing by Arsema Thomas, who starred a couple of years ago as young Lady Danbury in the Bridgerton prequel Queen Charlotte.
In the course of their work, Christopher and Milly have to deal with Russian oligarch Boris Ivanov (a convincing John Albasiny) and Trump-voting, gun-toting American fixer Tony, played with swagger by Steve Zissis. Tony is working for a Middle Eastern Prince, a character saved from parody by Fayez Bakhsh. As written, all three roles sometimes teeter into caricature, and all three actors give them moments of humanity.
Ellie Wintour’s stylish set is a smart white-walled gallery with white canvases of different sizes. The only actual artwork we see is a shiny gold iteration of Jeff Koons’ sculpture series, Balloon Dog. A very similar work, Balloon Dog (Orange), sold at Christie’s for $58.4 million and became the fifth most expensive work by a living artist ever sold at auction. Scene changers in white hazmat suits shuffle the white chairs, but otherwise scene changes are effected only by Jack Hathaway’s prismatic lighting and a shift in the focal prop. The balloon dog floats off to be replaced by a vase of flowers in a faceless hotel chain.
Director Merle Wheldon has made sure the pace never flags, and Da Vinci’s Laundry is a slick evening’s entertainment. The quickfire conversations are funny and packed with jokes. The themes are never really developed. This relatively lightweight pastiche of the morally murky world of high-end art dealing rarely goes beyond one-liners. The few longer speeches are depthless critiques of contemporary art or stereotypical backstories. But for anyone wanting a fun night out rather than a lecture in cultural philosophy, Da Vinci’s Laundry is a gorgeous golden balloon dog of a show.
Runs until 25 October 2025
