An Adequate Abridgement of Boarding School Life as a Homo – Waterloo East Theatre, London

Writer: Ned Blackburn

Directors: Meg Bowron and Josh Stainer

Skilfully staged, the fancily entitled An Adequate Abridgement of Boarding School Life as a Homo was a hit at last year’s Edinburgh Fringe and it’s not hard to see why. This story of illicit desire at a posh Church of England boarding school, where Christ on the cross is fashioned in ways that bring ‘rugged and twink’ to mind, is thoughtfully written. Ned Blackburn may tell a familiar story of sexual awakening in the rugby changing rooms, but set in the present day, it feels fresh and important.

The contemporary time period means that this is neither a sequel to Brideshead Revisited nor indeed a version of William Corlett’s almost forgotten novel Now and Then. For one thing, Blackburn’s protagonist is a Britney fan, and for another, Johnny has a fetish for Calvin Klein underwear. He’s aroused by the yielding white cotton. It’s a shame, then, that his FWB wears baggy polka dot boxer shorts from Next.

While Johnny isn’t exactly in the closet, he’s not exactly out of it either. He and Harry meet in Harry’s room after rugby matches or Double English. It’s an arrangement rather than a relationship, and Johnny scrolls through Grindr at every opportunity. But the sex with Harry is good, and one of their encounters is hilariously recreated through some polished Britney dance moves.

It’s often very funny with Blackburn enthusiastically portraying our 18-year-old hero, who’s not really interested in academia, struggling to finish set text Waiting for Godot. He’s just waiting for school to finish, scorning the other boys’ obsessions with UCAS and Oxbridge. Alongside him is Harvey Weed, who plays Harry as well as other characters such as the headmaster (also a clergyman) and the teacher who talks to the boys about the issue of consent.

The latter theme initially feels oddly placed, but it becomes the play’s driving force in completely unexpected ways. And fascinatingly, Johnny, in Blackburn’s hands, has a whiff of an unreliable narrator about him, meaning that we can’t fully trust his version of events. Weed’s Harry is a complex character, too, despite Johnny’s claim that the public school system (and hence Parliament) is full of such boorish types.

Perhaps the play is a little too black and white, as Harry’s trauma is not investigated in much depth. Surely, he, too, is a victim or at least a victim of hegemonic masculinity? But there’s only enough Blackburn that can fit into an hour of intelligent writing that perfectly balances drama with humour. And he plays a blinder as Johnny, who keeps us guessing even when the lights come up.

Runs until 25 May 2025 and continues to tour