Disco music and lights set the stage for Johnnie McNamara Walker, sporting a shirt that proudly reads “100% Fruit.” The premise of The Heterosexuals is an absolute open goal: an undercover report on the straight community, complete with door-screening to ensure the audience is “100% unapologetically queer.” They walk among us, but why are there so many tragic gender reveal fires? And how many times must Glenn Close leave an awards ceremony empty-handed before we admit the straights are not okay?
When the show leans into this sharp, inverted satire, it hits high notes. Flipping straight talking points back onto them—wondering if heterosexuality is “just a phase” or asking “what if they were just born this way?”—delivers genuine laughs.
However, the satire quickly evaporates as the narrative morphs into a rambling exploration of Walker’s own identity and self-discovery. Conversations between Walker and a pre-recorded voiceover version of himself stall the momentum, causing the material to drift into dry, self-indulgent territory. What begins as a clever, playful idea ends up feeling like an endless, repetitive monologue that severely tests the audience’s patience.
Walker gives it his absolute all on stage with high energy and undeniable commitment, but no amount of enthusiasm can stretch this slim premise across a full hour. The Heterosexuals has a brilliant initial premise, but ultimately lacks the punchy writing required to sustain it.
Runs until 31 August 2026 | Image:
