RUM – Barnsley Civic Studio Theatre

Writer: Joe Mallalieu

Director: Tess Seddon

RUM, produced by Emmerson & Ward Productions, works perfectly because of Joe Mallalieu’s total conviction as  writer and performer and because of a dramatic climax that forces you to re-consider all that has gone before. Spoilers are out, though the well-publicised involvement of Andy’s Man Club offers a hint, so this review will offer a partial account of what we see.

Mallalieu is Danny, a skilled plasterer with a tendency to go off the rails from time to time. He is “rum”, frightened of no one, prepared to face down his customers if need be, but always secure in the knowledge that they need him and his craftsmanship more than he needs them. This attitude comes from his grandfather who emerges as a cock-of-the-walk figure who is idolised by Danny and his mates.

These mates from schooldays onwards are Jase and Kyle and soon enough they are operating successfully as DJM Plasterers. Jase is always the one who goes too far while Kyle, who had always managed the books, eventually goes to college and ends up in a well-paid white-collar job. Danny and Jase continue for a while, but finally are forced to work for other people. Danny, of course, sees this as a good thing: no more fussing over accounts.

At the beginning of the play Danny has been asked to finish off a job in a prosperous house. There are walls to be plastered, of course, but the job is bigger than he was led to believe. However, he’s a guy who is never fazed by a challenge: he’ll finish the job before he makes his big speech that evening. Mallalieu the writer never over-eggs the pudding, but there are enough references to the speech for the audience to realise it’s something special.

So he works and he chats: grandpa and Jase are clearly  something special, though we gradually become aware that there is a problem that Danny is only becoming aware of. Mallalieu’s manner is confident, enjoying confrontations and the drugs he snorts equally. His laconic hard man image breaks down a couple of times, first of all in the story of grandpa’s young Rottweiler which he (as a teenager) is obliged to beat and bully. Mallalieu becomes almost feral as he anticipates the dog, older and stronger, remembering that incident. Grandpa’s instruction about plastering (prepare well at first and you’ll have much less trouble later on) has a wider significance.

The production aims to penetrate the macho cocoon of the likes of Danny and Jase. Danny at least, tormented by events, finally manages to articulate his feelings.

On tour of the UK until June 2026